Ten Dream Suits Someone Should Wear to a Gay Wedding

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From left: Kiton Birdseye Windowpane Suit, Thom Browne Anchor Pattern Jacquard Three-Button Sportcoat, Paul Smith Byard Windowpane Two-Piece Suit, Versace Blue Slim Fit Suit.

My fiancé and I have decided to wear suits to our wedding, after a wide-ranging discussion that veered into colored-pants-and-blazers territory, then to khakis, and then back to suits again. (I realized, after all of this, that I don’t really have an opinion. The fiancé does. I’m told that in wedding planning it’s really, really important in these situations to let the other guy decide.) Now we’re into the, “How much should we match?” discussion. The only times I’ve seen a gay couple match one another exactly was when both were wearing tuxedos. Usually the guys will wear a slightly different suit or at least different ties and accessories—and at the only lesbian wedding I attended, the brides wore non-matching wedding gowns.

I am of the opinion that my fiancé always looks better in a suit than I do, so I’m starting to really do my homework. Today I spent part of the day looking at some really expressive two- and three-piece suits for inspiration. I probably wouldn’t be ballsy enough wear most of these, but I love them and think someone should.

For example, I really like the idea of wearing a lot of color on the big day. If that means you don’t really get to wear the suit on that many other occasions, well, fuck it. It’s not like your girlfriends have been trotting off to work in their Vera Wangs all these years. 

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Tom Ford Ocean Blue O’Connor Suit. http://www.tomford.com.

I know, you are wondering about the shoes. They’re white suede and brown crocodile tassel moccasins. Price upon request. If you love Tom Ford, which I do because he is handsome, mostly, you might also like this:

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Tom Ford Lilac Two-Piece Suit. http://www.tomford.com

(Don’t be afraid to wear a little heel on your wedding day. All the ladies will be.) Here’s another blue one I like, from Versace:

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                     Versace Collection Slim Fit Two-Piece Suit. http://www.neimanmarcus.com. $1,295

Unfortunately, we’re getting married outside in Maine. It doesn’t exactly scream, “VERSACE!”

Another thing I really like on other men, not myself, is a windowpane check. I think you either have to have a very specific (read: perfect) physique to pull one off, or to be so far from having a perfect physique that you don’t give a damn that you look like a giant casement window. Old men can do this. These are the same people that hang out naked in the gym locker room all the time, because honestly? Fuck you whippersnappers. I was in Korea.

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Kiton Birdseye Windowpane Suit. http://www.neimanmarcus.com. $7,995

I saw a guy wearing a truly excellent Tom Ford windowpane suit at the Winter Antiques Sale this year. He said it was from a sample sale, which made me even more angry than the fact that he could pull off a windowpane suit. As he walked away, my fiancé observed that the reason the guy was able to wear it so well was because he was only 5’7″. I felt better.

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Paul Smith Byard Windowpane Suit. http://www.neimanmarcus.com. $1,525.

I’ve seen a few guys get married in three piece suits. I think it looks nice, and adds something special to what could otherwise be a regular workaday suit. Take this Paul Smith look, for example:

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Paul Smith Teal Wool and Mohair Blend Three-Piece Suit. http://www.paulsmith.co.uk. $1,995.

Same goes with this beautiful gray Armani:

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Armani Collezioni Two Button Wool Drop 7 Metropolitan Line Suit with Vest. http://www.armani.com

I also like a really good chocolate brown suit. You don’t see them a lot, but I always think it looks ballsy when a guy wears one:

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Brunello Cucinelli Two-Piece Check Suit. http://www.neimanmarcus.com. $4,195.

Easy to be a baller when you’re dropping four grand on suits, I guess. 

Now, here’s an outfit that I would never even consider wearing, but if I could convince my guy friends to wear these as ushers, I think that would be superb.

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Thom Browne Anchor-Patterned Jacquard Three-Button Sportcoat. http://www.barneys.com. $1,390.

Who could say no to an ANCHOR PATTERNED JACQUARD SHORTS-SUIT? With a blazer top that’s cut to make you look like a pouty 12-year-old in church? (What’s that? All of you? Worst ushers ever.) Oh and check out this royal blue Ralph Lauren number:

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RLX Ralph Lauren Anthony Two-PIece Pindot Suit. http://www.neimanmarcus.com. $2,095.

[Clears throat very loudly.] Ahem.

This is when you are supposed to say, “Why Chris, that suit’s not crazy at all! You could totally pull that off on your wedding day. It’s traditional with a little flair. Excellent choice.”

Aw, thanks. Just for that, I’m not going to make you ushers wear knee socks.

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